Thursday, March 8, 2012

God I am a flailing dipshit, and I am making this shit up as I go along

I would love to say that my most recent visit to The Arborist proceeded with Augustinian, aloof compassion tempered with logic and restraint. 

It did not.

It was a comedy of miscued, misunderstood motives and unexpressed angst.

I did not press my case.  Instead, I let it be known that I wished to talk to the man, and let it lie.

And.....there it laid.

And laid.

Until the last goddamn dog was hung.

Until the stroke of 10pm, when I finally huffed 'I wanted to talk to you, but you obviously don't want to hear it. So, I'm making an early night of it. I love you. Damn, you piss me off.'

And swanned out.

Now, I felt GREAT about this.  I haven't felt this good about anything in nearly a year, in fact. I have been so obsessed with this weirdness between the Arborist and myself that it's consumed my every waking moment...and suddenly, I WAS FREE!

I also felt great about the follow-up email I sent to The Meadow Blossom, wherein she tried to smooth things over (on behalf of the poor, suffering, misunderstood, pussy-whipped Arborist who apparently couldnt speak for himself) and I snarled  back and used the words 'disengenuous bullshit' and 'sick to fucking death'.

We are a classy group of folks.

And you know what, my darlings?  I still feel GREAT about all this.

While simultaneously knowing that chances are really really good that I will never see these people again.  And feeling pretty goddamn good about that too.

I am so fucking confused right now.


  1. you are just clearing the air. and it is good you feel good...really good.

  2. Thanks, Gale. It's a mixed bag. I abandoned the guy once already, and now I have to close the door on him again. Life can really throw some cruel twists at a person. I really hate it. but at the same time, I am so relieved.

  3. As I understand you wanted to start a conversation or dialogue, and your partner for talking was not there.
    So no conversation.


Let me know what you think, my darlings! Always bearing in mind, of course, that this is not a fair and impartial forum where everyone has an equal voice and has a right to a fair hearing. It's not. It's a fucking blog. Annoy the hippie? Watch the hippie hit the 'delete' button.